omfg

I am so freaking glad I’m not writing romance novels today.

I haven’t looked at one in years and had no idea what the covers were looking like.  Thing is, some of these are simply ugly, but the bare skin ones?

Horrors.

Bobbie Faye is back!

Bobbie Faye’s (kinda, sorta, not exactly) Family Jewels is hot on the shelves today! Yay!

My book is in the mail to me from Amazon, which makes me feel very lucky because I just checked and there are only 4 copies left. (I mean, I’m sure they’ll restock, but, wow! That’s fantastic sales. Today is the official launch and it has already almost sold out on Amazon? Toni rocks!)

Find it at a bookstore or Amazon link near you!  (Fast. Because, you know, they’re selling fast.)

You must read this.

I wish I’d linked to it yesterday for Mother’s Day, but you know, maybe not. Maybe it’s better when the day is over and yet, you’re still a mom. Or have a mom. Or just need to laugh. A lot. Or maybe even get misty-eyed.

What Toni wrote: The Stick Turned Blue

Go.

Read.

Now.

And while I’m talking about Toni, I ordered my copy of Bobbie Faye’s (kinda, sorta, not exactly) Family Jewels today. Yay!

Credit where credit is due…

So, who gets credit for this great line?

“I don’t know how to kiss, or I would kiss you.

Where do the noses go?“

The screenwriter?

The novelist?

The poet?

(Serious question, by the way. I haven’t read the book nor have I seen the movie. I have, however, read the poem. More than once. In fact, I memorized it. No, I can’t spout it anymore, but perhaps it would be a worthwhile endeavor to repeat, now that I consider it.)

(I also know nothing about the Spanish Civil War or Franco or Spain. That has been long on my list of things I need to learn, but haven’t gotten around to.)

Anybody Speak French?

So, I was looking for interesting books set in the Regency time period and saw a recommendation for The Spymaster’s Lady and now I’m reading it.

It’s the kind of book with a bare-chested male model on the cover, one who has ripped his jacket and his ruffled shirt open and is staring into the distance with great fervor. Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, if you like bare-chested male models.

But it’s also very well-written and has a firebrand of a little French heroine who is a fighter, and by that, I mean, a fighter. Oh, she’s a spy, but in the first 70 pages or so we’ve seen lots of fighting. I’m not complaining. I like her a lot.

But I’m wondering about this one thing. I don’t speak French and know nothing about how the French language is constructed, etc. Her dialogue feels very French to me; I can hear her French accent when she speaks, but then, how would I know? I don’t speak French.

The theory is that if you want to have a character’s English dialogue reflect the fact that they aren’t native speakers, you can have them use English words but in constructions that are true to that of that their native language. For example, by that theory, a Spaniard or Italian would never say, “I’d swear on my mother’s grave,” but would instead say, “I swear on the grave of my mother,” because there is no possessive in the Romance languages.

Also, you’d get rid of contractions. Or rather, you would get rid of contractions. Like that.

So, if you speak French or are moderately familiar with it, perhaps you can tell me whether the following dialogue is French in its construction?

“Most likely I did, and you are being composed and manly about it. Though it is obvious I did not break your neck, which was my great fear. I will tell you I am not sorry in the least, even if I hurt you gravely, because you should not make off with me this way. It is wholly despicable to entrap women and kidnap them with you across France and force them to wear indecent nightclothes only because you do not trust them.”

Any takers?

(I am not offering firebrand French spies in indecent nightclothes. I am asking for volunteers to assess the French-or-not-French construction. Some of you have hopeful dirty minds.)