Happy Birthday, BBC!

Today is the 75th Birthday of the BBC World Service.

I do most of my listening via the internet and rarely live. I just browse and find programmes (note the UK spelling) that sound interesting and they always are.

History, for example.

Radio 4 has lots of cool stuff.

It’s also never a bad idea to hear the news from a different perspective.

You can download podcasts or listen on your computer.

Check it out.

BBC rocks.

The Case of the Mucky Beggar

KIM
I think you’ve done jolly good, you know. I am surprised, because you’ve been a mucky beggar, you.

DOG WALKER
I outfoxed you!

AGGIE
You did, actually, and I’m really, really … chuffed.

(Aren’t the British people just cute as all get out when they talk? It makes me just want to pinch their cheeks and muss their hair!)

But I’m getting ahead of myself.

I am addicted.

Addicted to Kim and Aggie.

Addicted to squalor.

Addicted to watching other people clean house.

Oh, everyone tells me, “Why would I want to watch somebody else clean house? I don’t even want to clean my own?” And they’re too polite to add what they’re thinking, “And you don’t clean house yourself, so why in hell are you watching shows about dirty houses?”

I don’t know!!!

I just know I have to watch. But, in this case, it’s like watching a trainwreck in reverse.

In this case, the opening images are so brutal, you’d better have an airsick bag in your hand, just in case.

Because HOW CLEAN IS YOUR HOUSE? (BBC version) is disgusting, nauseating, horrifying.

But after Kim and Aggie squeal, gasp, sniff, swear and swoon — they scold, then roll up their sleeves, teach and work miracles (with the assistance of a team of cleaners).

They use bicarbonate of soda, salt, lemon juice, vinegar, toothpaste, cola, vodka — by the time they get through, they’ll have proven that you ALWAYS have something in the house to clean with, and it’s usually biodegradable and cheap.

And the end result is astonishing.

Absolutely breaktakingly chuffingly astonishing.

This is the show I just watched.

A dog walker who loves the fresh air because … well, look at what he lives in.

Highlights of the show:

80 bags of garbage.
60 bags of recycling.
Cleaning with salt and grapefruit, with bio washing powder and hot water.
Unclogging of drain with bicarb of soda, vinegar & boiling water.
Creation of sachets for dog areas made of peppermint tea, soda, grated lemon peel tied up in muslin.
Words like mucky beggar, chuffin, cheeky delivered in Liverpudlian and Scottish accents.

I give this episode five stars out of five!

(I’m a sucker for a happy ending.)

P.S. The Lifetime American version doesn’t come close to the excellence of the BBC original. They have to use sponsors’ products so you see Swiffer instead of lemon juice, and for some reason the American homes chosen are usually less squalid. A weak facsimile. Don’t say you weren’t warned!